Complaining: You're Doing it Wrong

By Christina Joniaux

Complain [kuhm-pleyn]: to bitch and wait for someone else to fix the problem.

Last week, as I was on my way to enjoy the wonders of bar crawl with the rest of the senior class, I heard a classmate complain about the fact that they were on a yellow school bus. Now, I know that a school bus is not anyone’s first choice of transportation - unless you are seven and wearing light-up sneakers - but transportation is transportation. On any other night, many of us would be giving our left arm to find a designated driver instead of paying the $12.75 cab fare to our favorite bar. Why is it that these people were complaining about free transportation?

As the night progressed I heard more complaints about paying for $2 drafts instead of $1 bottles, the fact that we HAD to move onto another bar, and even the fact that it was still light outside, which was affecting their ability to drink. This generation is so used to complaining because they believe they have been wronged in some way, or for the incessant need to hear their own voices. No one, including me, wants to hear about how mommy or daddy isn’t buying you a new car.

Here is an idea. Complain about something that is important like, oh I don’t know universal health care, and then (here's the trick) do something about it. There are people worse off than you! While I can’t say that $2 draft drinks changed my whole outlook on life and I will never complain about something insignificant again because, hello, I love to complain (especially about a lot of things that dumb people aren’t smart enough to figure out will fail). I can say that I have seen what complaining can do and will try and to make a conscious effort to complain for some good. If nothing else, in the end when you are winning awards after getting all the homeless people off the streets (after complaining about the lack of government funding for domestic issues and coming up with a program to help them), and you become extremely rich and famous, you can rub it in the faces of those who complain to their parents that they didn’t give them enough spending money instead of getting a job; making you more successful and the better person. Just remember who inspired you to complain for a change and hook a sister up. And that’s the way things should be.